IF YOU REALLY KNEW ME, YOU WOULD KNOW THAT…

I recall in my time in youth development, I was provided the opportunity on multiple occasions to attend “Challenge Day” with young people.  Challenge Day (http://www.challengeday.org/) is a powerful experiential experience for young people in their schools and communities.  At the core of their work and events are the following vision and mission:

• Our vision is that every child lives in a world where they feel safe, loved and celebrated.
• The Challenge Day mission is to provide youth and their communities with experiential programs that demonstrate the possibility of love and connection through the celebration of diversity, truth, and full expression.

I’ve experienced Challenge Day.  They truly attempt to create and facilitate a space where the vision and mission of the organization is a reality for all.

A part of the day is sharing some in-depth self-reflection.  This reflection causes relationships to be formed and sustained by vulnerability and truth-telling.  They ask each person to share a statement beginning with:

“If you really knew me, you would know that…” And the participants begin to share their fears, their pasts, their triumphs, etc.

I found this exercise powerful and useful on so many levels.  Obviously, in relationship cultivation, the depth of knowledge about the other person is critical to growth and sustainability in relationship.  However, the most intriguing salience of this statement is the necessity to dialogue with self.

If you are like me, over time and circumstance we can lose touch with who we are.  So the question moves from “If YOU really knew me” to “If I really know me…”  When is the last time you sat across from the relationships that are most important to you and stated: “If you really knew me…” and are you ready to sit with yourself and reconnect?  I’m gonna try.

Peace, Blessings, and Challenge

T2

MY THANKSGIVING DEFINED

Today is a reflective day for me.  I woke up this morning thinking about my life, mortality, my family, and the blessings in my life.  I felt like writing God a letter expressing my gratitude.  However, I wanted to be intentional about what the words I’ve used all of my life and what they  actually mean.  Below is a brief letter of thanks to God.  It might be time to define your thanksgiving too!

Dear God,

Thank you so much for your daily GRACE to me and my family:

grace 

[greys]  noun, verb,graced, grac·ing.

1. favor or good will

2. a manifestation of favor, esp. by a superior:

3. mercy; clemency; pardon.

4. favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity

5. an allowance of time after a debt or bill has become payable granted to the debtor before suit can be brought against him or her or a penalty      applied.

God,

I know that my life has not always looked like your standard for me, but please know that I know, you were in it after all.  I also thank you for PROVIDING for me and my family.

pro·vi·sion [pruh-vizh-uhn] –noun

1. arrangement or preparation beforehand, as for the doing of something, the meeting of needs, the supplying of means, etc.

2. The act of supplying or fitting out

Finally Lord, I know that my life today does not mirror that of my age demographic. I fully acknowledge that it has been your FAVOR in my life that has brought me to this place…

fa·vor [fey-ver] – noun/verb

1. something done or granted out of goodwill, rather than from justice or for remuneration; a kind act

2. a gift bestowed as a token of goodwill, kind regard, love, etc.,

3. to prefer; treat with partiality

4. to deal with, treat, or use gently

For all of these and many other blessings, I give you praise and thanks,

In Jesus Name,

Amen.

Peace, Grace, Favor and Provision,

T2

THIS TIME LAST YEAR’S BEE MOVIE (SHOTS OUT TO “SLICK”)

“Difficult times have helped me to understand better than before, how infinitely rich and beautiful life is in every way, and that so many things that one goes worrying about are of no importance whatsoever…”

— Isak Dinesen

This time last year, my family of four was moving from basement to basement waiting on our newly purchased home to be vacated so we could move in.  Allow me to set the context:  Our former home was on the market for over 8 months.  Some would say “what are you complaining about? In this market; that’s great!”  There’s something nearly impossible about having your home “show” ready for eight months with a one year-old and an 11 year old.  After the flood in the basement, the birth of our son, the heat, the uncertainty, the home that we did put an offer on that ended up being in foreclosure under two different banks; I would submit that this was the longest year of my life!

In an effort to get out of our former house, I enlisted the help of a great family friend(s) to help us power wash the outside of our home.  This family (who’s identity will not be mentioned to protect the innocent,) came over and spent a day cleaning, power washing, and hanging out!  Now, this may seem to be the end of the story to the un-T2 familiar.  Those of you who know me, know that I am not an outdoorsy type.  Being up on a ladder with a power washer in the heat of summer does not constitute a “good time” for me.  Well, come to find out, I should have stayed inside!

My buddy “slick”, who is truly an “outdoorsy” type (this dude knows the nuances of frogs & toads sexual patterns), is spray washing on the ladder while I am sweating profusely and cleaning the walls underneath.  Suddenly, I feel an unfamiliar object fall on my head…

Remember…I’m not an outside adventurer!

It’s a bee hive!

I’m a grown man, with children.  I don’t scare easy.  However, i’m man enough to admit, I was Scurred!  Yes I said  “Scurred”  not scared! As I ducked and recovered, the melodious sounds of laughter filled the air.  Thanks be to God, I came out of that nightmare unscathed.

What’s my point?  Life can become so stressful.  In an effort to move forward, we can lose sight of what’s important.  Much more than a beehive fell on my head that day; perspective knocked me down.  My family was safe, I had friends who came to help me at a moments notice, and God still loves me enough to save me from the killer bees!

Stress is natural, life is hard, but don’t wait until the hive drops to see that you’re still here!

“Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday”

Peace, Blessings, and Perspective!

T2

THE REAL STEROID ERA

Hello, I’m T2, and i’m a “sports-talk radio-aholic.” I have a pretty regular diet of Mike and Mike in the morning, and try to catch the evening talk of “the Two Live Stews” and Parton the Interruption.  Forgive Me.

My seeming need for knowledge in all things competition gives me a desire to dialog about sports.  Not just sports, the backstories behind them, the people, the values, the exploitation.  In recent years, we have witnessed the public hangings of baseball players for the “illegal” use of performance enhancing drugs a.k.a. steroids. I hear members of society crucifying the character of these individuals for trying to “get ahead.”  Fans decrying that the sports star has somehow personally attacked them and made their children lose hope in “the pure nature of baseball.”  GIVE ME TWO BREAKS!

He who is without sin among you; let him cast the first stone.  We eat more steroids in a piece of Church’s Chicken on Sunday afternoon than a baseball player does before the World Series.  Before I sound like one with a stone in my hand, let me clearly state that I too am guilty.  I did not know how guilty I was until I began to grocery shop for my children.  The things we put in our bodies should bring about tears and hopelessness. The neighborhoods that have been classified as “food desserts” should be cause for uproar; not Barry Bonds hitting a home run in San Fransisco.  People are hungry, children are starving, and those who do eat are consuming additives that could mean the demise of generations.

The truth of the matter is that we all are involved in the steroid era.  Everything from our TV’s to greed are on steroids.  What if we as a society spent less time judging public faces, and regulating ourselves.  I’m gonna try for me.  Anyone care to join?

Peace, Blessings, and Ball Games!

T2

A SNAPSHOT FROM AIR FORCE ONE

As I stated in an earlier blog, I was blessed to have “my face in the place” when the Honorable President Barack Obama visited Kalamazoo to give the keynote address at my Alma Mater Kalamazoo Central High School (Go Giants!).  While many stories have been written about the Presidents speech, the amazing young people that participated, the outstanding leadership of Kalamazoo Public Schools (Dr. Michael Rice) and Rock-Star principal Von Washignton, Jr.; the story that pricked my heart while maneuvering my family back to our vehicle has yet to be spoken.

While sitting in the beautiful University Arena, I took a moment to breathe in the experience with all of my senses in tact.  I saw a mix of people that crossed all of the lines that usually separate us.  Young, old, black, white, male, female, gay, straight, rich and poor, parents and community leaders, billionaires and coaches, educated and illiterate.  This was truly a multi-cultural/diverse experience (notice that diverse does not just mean black and white).  And I must note that although we see our cultural differences as polar opposites, there is far more diversity within cultures than outside of them.

Within that experience, I noticed that there was a deeper context that required investigation .  A snapshot Black America.

My gaze into this snapshot began with the guest of honor.  For the first time in United States history, there is a multi-racial President of the United States who identifies with the African American culture.  I know that many of you have heard most people identify the President as Black.  I try to call it as it is.  He is bi-racial; and as my favorite comedian the late/great Redd Foxx said “I’m part black, part white, part Cherokee, and part Italian; so you can’t hate but a quarter of me!”  Although meant for satire, it represents our lasting belief in the “one drop rule,” if you are part-black, you’re “all-black.”  I digress.

In the same room, I saw leaders, both of the free world, education, business, and religious sitting just inches away from high school drop-outs.  I saw criminals and police, hustlers and investment brokers all in the same row.

What does this mean in short. Some of us are leading, some are aspiring to lead.  There are others of us who are drowning under life’s circumstantial sea.  Some of us are selfish observers (those who only stayed for the speech, not for the kids).  Some of us are reflecting and transforming our lives to a better space.  And finally, (the hottest story for the media), some of us are in the midst of greatness, merely an arms length away:  and we are asleep.

What a picture!  What a representation!  I’m sad that it takes Air Force One to bring all of us together, however, I’m glad that we can observe the the authenticity of our diversity, and the need to keep striving for excellence for ALL!

Peace, Blessings, and Hmmmm…..,

T2

PLAYING SMALL

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.’ We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” (A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of “A Course in Miracles”, Harper Collins, 1992. From Chapter 7, Section 3]) ”

— Marianne Williamson

“You’re Playing Small Does Not Serve The World…”

As a 6′ 4″ tall African American man I get my fair share of stares, clutching of purses, and non-reciprocal greetings.  I have been loved and hated.  I have been mistaken and have mad mistakes.  I have been judged and even attempted to play the role of judge myself.  I have discriminated and been discriminated against.  I have gained and lost.  I have been abandoned and adopted.  I have lived.

Through all of this living, I have had times where the idea of me being important to the world has been questioned, by me and others; and I have experienced moments where my destiny’s significance is clear.  We all have experienced these dialectical moments.  However, I have learned that no matter the moment, the season, the relationship:  PLAYING SMALL DOES NOT SERVE THE WORLD!!!!

I am learning to shine my light!  I’m aggresively requesting the naysayers, haters, and human judges to pay attention!  I am meant to shine, and so are you!  As I’m liberated from my fear, it becomes contagious!  What if our feelings of measureless power to change the world spread across the airwaves as quickly as our scandals and shortcomings.  What if we told our children with our actions and our words that they were born to manifest or bring out God’s glory on earth.  What would be our lot if we were liberated?  What would our relational lives be if our thanksgiving was equal to our complaints? This world would be a different place, a living place, a liberated place.

Catch the flame, play in the big leagues.  God did not create us for small ball.

For Your Reflection:

Right before the Lean on Me Sing-Along.

Peace, Blessing, and Light!

T2

AIN’T NOTHIN’ COOKIN’ BUT THE PEAS IN THE POT…

“…All Life is Inextricably Linked…”

— Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

In my effort to maintain my sanity at this stage in life, I make a daily, concerted effort NOT to watch cable news (ESPN excluded, of course).  Listening to, and watching the talking heads is often an exercise in foolishness.  The term unbiased journalism has become an oxymoron, and I find that there are seemingly more commercials than actual news.

However, when i’m in a binge mindset, I find myself watching what I disdain.  As I see the stories about Haiti, Katrina, the BP catastrophe, youth crime and violence, and others…my otherwise cheerful state swiftly turns to head-shaking.  I am convicted by the fact that someway, somehow, someone socialized me to beleive that those horrific stories are effecting “those” people.

The pain and suffering in Haiti has nothing to do with me.  I’m in Michigan!  We have Great Lakes!  Why should I be concerned about the oil spill in the gulf?  Then I hear the voice of a childhood friends father saying: “Ain’t nothin’ cookin’ but the peas in the pot, and the peas wouldn’t be cookin if the water wasn’t hot.”

As a child, I didn’t understand what this ghetto anthem was saying.  Now that i’m a grown man with a family, career, and responsibility; I understand.

Whatever is “cookin'” in my life is a direct result of someone(s) preparing the way.  I / we cannot live our lives forgetting the impact of our actions on others and their actions upon us.  I am grateful for those who have “made the water hot”  for me and my family, and am determined to continue to try to “heat up” the water for someone else.

We are inextricably linked…like it or not.  Let’s not pass up opportunities to help someone else who needs something “cooking” in their lives.

For Your Reflection: Why not perform a random act of kindness for the next person that you see.

Peace, Blessings, and Connection,

T2

First School

“Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.”

“Music is enough for a lifetime, but a lifetime is not enough for music”

— ~Sergei Rachmaninov

I remember a conversation I had with my uncle Mike about music.  We argued many of the recurring points of view.  Who was the greatest singer?  The “best” band? Old vs. New.  Prince vs. Michael Jackson, who won?

We always have come to the same nostalgic conclusion; the best years of music are behind us.  After that was agreed upon among all of the disagreement around Marvin Gaye and Luther Vandross or Aretha Franklin and Anita Baker, I stated that “old school” is the best school of music.  My Uncle quickly corrected me by replying…”old school?  You mean first school! there’s no such thing as old school, it’s first school.”

I have to agree with my Uncle Mike.  to call this classic era of Music that so many of us have experienced as “old” is just downright disrespectful.  It was first, it was best, and it was soul.  Consider the Lyrics from neo-soul singer Leela James on the subject (video link is at the end of the blog):

Music

Somebody playin’ on the guitar strings
Makes me think of my favorite songs
Reminds me of when I heard Aretha sang
Gladys, Tina, and Chaka Khan
Can’t go back to yesterday
Can we just put the thongs away

And fall back in love with music
Nothin’ but the music

Everybody knows that Marvin’s gone
Still I gotta tell you what’s going on
Said the music’s gone

Where’d the soul go?
It’s all about the video
We don’t sang no mo’
Where’s the music gone?

Where’d the music go?
It’s all just for the dough
It ain’t songs no mo’
Where’s the music gone?

Still hear Donny playin’ them keys
Sangin’ one day we’ll all be free
Can’t even turn on my radio
Somebody hollerin’ bout a bitch or a hoe

Right now I’m missing music
Back porch, down-home music

Like so many of us, music has been Salvation; literally and figuratively.  I learned that “Jesus Loves Me” not becuase I saw Jesus with my eyes, but because I heard a lady name Dannibelle Hall sing it like no truer words had ever been spoken.  I knew that being alone was not the life I wanted to live; not because I don’t need or desire my independence (I truly do!), but because Luther Vandross sang “A House is Not a Home.” I learned how to care about my fellow brother from Donny Hathaway singing “He ain’t heavy, He’s my brother!”

The seasons of trial and triumph in my life are infused with music.  The holes in my heart are often filled with music.  The smile on my face or the bobbing of my head are sustained by music!   I am closest to God and myself when I listen to music. Thank God for his second best gift!

© 2006 WMG Music (Video)

Peace, Blessings, and Music 4 ya Soul!

T2